What To Do About Sarcasm

Oct 29 – Just Kidding?

Ephesians 4:29 is one of those verses that always gets me.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  What?!  Do not let ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths?  Or what about a few verses later when it says, “Nor should there be oscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking…”  Holy cow!  If you combine all of those things, that makes speech one very difficult thing to control.

I heard a quote once that said, “In every word of sarcasm, there’s a bit of truth.”  That’s the danger in it.  While we may intend for some of the disrespectful or mean words we say to be taken jokingly, oftentimes, the person we speak to will walk away hurt, not because they think we’re completely serious but because maybe we hit on some slkice of truth that really does hurt them.  For me, sarcasm is a weapon.  I use it when I feel backed into a corner or when I’m upset with someone but don’t want to confront the person about it.  In high school, one of my friends used sarcasm so much that I just didn’t want to be around him.  It was impossible to be in a conversation with him without him making you feel bad about yourself for something you did or just feel stupid for something you said.  That was his way of getting attention and making people laugh.  It worked, but it hurt, and it definitely affected our friendship.

Now I am the first to tell you that I am rather senstive to words.  I was raised to value them highly and to be careful when using them, so I admittedly respond more strongly to them than many people do.  That being said though, words really do have power.  I think we tend to forget that, especially in this age of computers and cell phones where we can so easily hide behind a screen when we talk to people.  As you talk to people this week, whether in person, online, or in a text message, focus on that second part of the first verse from today -  use words that are”helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  It may encourage someone you didn’t even know needed encouraging!

God’s Masterpiece

Sept 8-9  Getting Along

What a great story!  I guess siblings don’t have to fight forever…

Here’s what I love about this article:  Do you hear how much Aubrey loves her brother?  Do you hear in her words how highly she thinks of him and how much she respects him?  Do you see how she was willing to let go of the things that focused attention on her to serve him instead?

Ephesians 2:10 says that “We are God’s masterpiece…”  My problem is that I don’t always treat people as though they are God’s masterpieces.  Sometimes, I treat them like they’re rough drafts – messed up and not worth a whole lot.

It’s harder to see God inside the members of your own family.  You are with them most of the time, you see every day the ways they mess up, and you feel very deeply the times they have hurt you.  But they are made in the image of God, just like you are.  They have value, just like you do.

Try something this week.  Write “God’s masterpiece” somewhere where you will see it often.  It could be on a school binder, in your locker, on a bathroom mirror at home, or even on your hand (if your parents are okay with that).  Each time you look at it, let it be a reminder that every person you see and interact with is God’s masterpiece.  Let that truth change the ways you talk to people.

The tips Aubrey mentions are incredibly helpful for strengthening all kinds of relationships, and the thing they all have in common is a willingness to actively love and serve the other person.  If you have a specific friendship that you would like to work on, try putting some of her suggestions into practice and place the other person ahead of yourself.  Give them the benefit of the doubt, even when they might not deserve it.  Listen when you would rather talk.  Fight for them and their honor when you would rather let them stumble.  At least on occasion, compromise your own ”wants” for theirs.  Learning to love well takes time, but these will help you along the way.

Failed Expectations, Role Model Challenge, and Family Love

Hmmm…I’m still figuring out how posts on the weekend are going to work out.  Give me some time to figure out the kinks    Thanks for your patience!

Sept 5 – Role Model

This piece from today is a powerful one.  I suspect it is very real to many of us.  How many times have we placed someone – a sibling, another family member, a close friend, political or religious leader – on a pedestal as a role model and then had them fail us?  Sometimes, people let us down in a major and very personal way, and sometimes they just fall short of the expectations we have set for them.  Either way, it can be a difficult thing to understand and recover from. 

I watched an interview with Cindy Crawford years ago (a world-famous supermodel from a few years back) and one thing she said has really stuck with me.  She mentioned that a defining moment for her was the moment she realized her parents were human.  I was probably 17 when I saw this interview, and I reazlied that I had never really acknowledged that.  I still expected them to do everything just right.  We have to remember, though, that our parents and anyone else older than us are capable of having the same emotions, the same insecurities, the same fears, and the same ability to mess up that we have.  They’ve just had more time to figure life out.  We’re not perfect, so why do we expect them to be?  But it still hurts to lose that kind of role model, to be reminded that people, no matter how admirable, are human and will fail us.

That’s where God comes in – In Hebrews 13:5, God says, “I will never fail you.  I will never abandon you.”  God is the only one who can keep that promise.  People can do their best to be faithful, but they will always fall short.  God, in His perfection, is true to His word.  Look to Jesus and His life as your ultimate role model more than the people around you.  Lean on God as your source of strength and joy, knowing that He is always with you and is waiting for you to turn to Him for comfort and support. 

Sept 6 – Big Sister, Big Hero

The chances are that someone somewhere looks up to you.  Maybe it’s a younger sibling who you know wants to be like you or maybe it’s someone from school who you don’t even know exists who wonders how they could become your friend.  Have you ever thought of yourself as a role model for someone?  If you knew someone was trying to be like you, maybe even act just like you, how would it change the way you act?  Would you use the same kind of language?  Say the same things about people?  Do the same things on the weekend?

Part of being a role model is acknowledging and accepting your responsibilities to other people.  You can’t always just do whatever you want to do because other people are counting on you to set an example.  There are always things we can improve about the way we behave because, like we mentioned yesterday, none of us is perfect.  Several verses in Bible really challenge us to live well – Matthew 5:28 says “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect,” (whoa!) and Ephesians 4:1 encourages us to “live a life worthy of the calling [we] have received” – and the calling we have received is to be followers of Jesus.

God asks a lot of us, however, another important part of being a role model is owning up to our weaknesses and our mistakes.  This honesty can be difficult, especially when we are overly concerned with what people think of us, but it reminds the people who look up to us that we are not perfect.  It may help them to feel better about their weakness as well, when they realize that the person they want to be like messes up too.

As a role model to someone, even if you don’t know it, reflect today on how you can set an example for them.  Think if there are any struggles you try to hide from people because you don’t know how they will respond, and then consider letting those weaknesses show to be an encouragement to others.

Sept 7 – Love Begins at Home

Here’s the verse for today, once again, another difficult one to hear:  “People who don’t take care of their relatives and especially their own families, have given up their faith.  They are worse than someone who doesn’t have faith in the Lord.” (1 Timothy 5:8)  

I have not always been the most faithful daughter to my family.  I went through a period of time in my late elementary and early middle school years where I pushed them away and gave them attitude because that’s what I saw the ”cool” kids my age doing.  There are not many decisions I have regretted more.  Only recently did I realize how much I had hurt my parents by acting like this.  Since realizing my mistake, I have tried, slowly but surely, to show love to my parents however I could.  Some days, that meant making sure to give them a hug and tell them I love them, and some days, it was cleaning up the kitchen without being asked so they didn’t have to. 

One of the first commandments God gave us tells us to “Honor our father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), but today’s verse talks to us about the rest of our immediate family as well.  What are some ways you can serve your family this week?  Can you do something for them that would be helpful?  What about some ways to make them feel special or let them know that you love them?  Even if you don’t always get along, show the members of your family a special measure of love today.  They’re worth it.   

A Hard Verse and An Only Child

Sept 3 – Twins for Christ

The squib (fun word) for today starts out with a verse that has always been a difficult one for people to read and understand.  Luke 14:26 quotes Jesus saying “You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters…”  Some translations even say “If anyone come to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple.” [italics mine]  That sounds so harsh!  Let’s look at it in context and see if it makes more sense:

Start in Luke 14:25 (if you don’t have a Bible, use the BibleGateway.com link at the bottom of this page).  Large crowds were following Jesus and then He turns to them and says basically that they can’t be His disciples unless they hate their family.  Then He continues by asking them a few questions – If you wanted to build a tower, wouldn’t you first figure out if you had enough money to build it?  If a king is about to go to war against another king, shouldn’t he first figure out if his army will be able to stand up against the opposing forces? 

So what do towers and strategy have to do with Jesus?

Building something huge, going to war – these things require a major commitment.  You either give everything you have to that project or it fails.  Before making the huge decision to proceed with either of these, you have to consider the cost of what you’re about to undertake – it might cost you more than you’re willing to give up.  Being Jesus’ disciple requires the same kind of commitment and consideration.  Have you thought about the cost of following Christ?  Are you willing to give up everything?  (There’s a reason this is called a “narrow road”! – Matthew 7:13-14) 

I think our author in DevoZine, Ryan, makes a great point about the first verse we looked at – even though he was extremely close to his twin sister, once they were separated, he was able to realize that Jesus was the ultimate sibling, the ultimate father and mother, the ultimate companion.  Our lives should be focused on and lived for Him alone, even above our families.

The journal questions for today are great:  What does it mean to you that Christ is your brother?  How close are you?  What can you do to strengthen this relationship?  What would it mean to make Christ Number One in your life?

Sept 4 – Sisters

As soon as I saw the topic for this first week of September, I laughed.  I’m supposed to write stuff about siblings when I don’t even have any???  How is that going to work? 

Yes, it’s true.  I am an only child.  I realize that there aren’t very many of us so, if you’ve never met one, now you have!  (Let’s just get this out of the way now – yes, some of us are spoiled rotten, but most of us are just plain spoiled, just like you are, ok?  )

Over the years, so many people have asked me, “You’re an only child?  Wow.  Did you like it?”  Well, this is real life and, like anything in real life, being an only child has its high points and low points.  I must admit that, even in fairly recent years, I have had times when I wanted a sibling.  When I was younger, I used to ask for a little sister all the time, like most kids do.  And now that I’m older, I’ve seen some really beautiful sibling relationships that make me wonder.But there are two really neat things I want to point out —  

Proverbs 18:24 says, “…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Even if you don’t have siblings, be encouraged!  God has given us people in our lives with whom we can build relationships that are even closer than the ones we have with our family.

Secondly, if you have some time, take a look at the friendship between David (yes, David-and-Goliath David, King David – it’s all the same guy) and Jonathan.  You can read most of their story in 1 Samuel 18-20.  Jonathan was the son of Saul who was king of Israel just before David was.  If God hadn’t intervened, Jonathan would have been king instead of David but not even this could come between them.  These two men of God had one of the closest friendships in the whole Bible.  It is those kinds of friendships that reassure me as an only child that God has not given me any less ability to love.

As God would have it, I found sisters too.  I’m not in a sorority like the devo’s author, but my roommates from my senior year of college are, oddly enough, both only children as well.  We share as sisters, act as sisters, laugh as sisters, and love as sisters, and I could not be more thankful for their presence in my life.  

Today, spend some time thanking God for the siblings you have, even if they’re not related to you.  And if you’re an only child feeling particularly lonely today, know that you are not alone and that God is more than able to fill that void with Himself and in time, may bring along friends to be the siblings you never had.

Sept 1 & 2 – Siblings

Sept 1 – Highs and Lows

The first thing that comes to mind as I read this are the stories my mom has told me from when she and her brother were growing up.  My favorite – he dumped water from rotted flowers over her head so she sprayed perfume up his nose.  Ewwww and ouch!  But being only 2 years apart, by the time they hit their teen years, my mom and her brother were able to be real friends, much like this girl and her brother.  But what about Kenzi’s relationship with her sister?  It’s still not resolved.  Conversation is a struggle; their interactions are still strained.

Things can’t be perfect all the time.  Ups and downs are a natural part of any relationship.  They will happen with parents, siblings, and friends, and it will even happen with God.  Relationships change because people change.  In Psalm 133:1, David writes “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!”  Siblings are pretty great when you’re actually getting along, aren’t they? 

My question for you is not – Are your relationships perfect? but – Are you doing your part to make them work?  Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  That’s hard, isn’t it?  People do things that hurt us or make us angry, and we think that gives us the right to fight back.  But be the person who stops the mean trade-offs.  Make the effort to be kind to your siblings, to help them out instead of intentionally getting them in trouble, and to love them with actions the best way you can. 

In prayer, thank God for the siblings you have, even if they’re hard to live with sometimes.  Pray that God would strengthen the good relationships you have with them and heal the broken ones.  In addition to these prayers from DevoZine, ask God to bring to your mind the ways in which you can better show love to your siblings.

Sept 2 – A Separate Peace

What a beautiful psalm they give us for today.  It’s worth taking some time to look at.  Spend some time reading over these verses.  Don’t just read it once.  Read it several times.

Psalm 46 

1 God is our refuge and strength,
       an ever-present help in trouble.

 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
       and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

 3 though its waters roar and foam
       and the mountains quake with their surging.
       Selah

 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
       the holy place where the Most High dwells.

 5 God is within her, she will not fall;
       God will help her at break of day.

 6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
       he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

 7 The LORD Almighty is with us
       the God of Jacob is our fortress.
       Selah

 8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
       the desolations he has brought on the earth.

 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
       he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
       he burns the shields ^[b] with fire.

 10 “Be still, and know that I am God;
       I will be exalted among the nations,
       I will be exalted in the earth.”

 11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
       the God of Jacob is our fortress.
       Selah

The word “Selah” appears several times here.  This is one of the hardest Hebrew words of the Old Testament to translate.  Not even Bible scholars are sure exactly what it means.  It probably indicated a time in the song to stop and listen and was used to draw attention to the verses just before it.

Try reading this psalm again and actually observe the Selah when it’s marked.

Look at verses 1-3.  “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear…”  What a wonderful promise to cling to!

Look at verse 10.  “Be still, and know that I am God…”  What comes right before that?  God is stopping wars, breaking bows, shattering spears, and burning shields, and then He tells us to be still.  He has all the power.  He gains all the glory.  Exodus 14:14 has Moses telling Israel, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.”

Take some time to be still today.  Maybe for you that means allowing God to fight in an area you’ve been trying to control yourself.  Maybe it means quieting your busy mind or your busy life long enough to hear the ”still small voice” of God (1 Kings 19:11-12 NKJV).  Whatever it means for you, give God time to speak in the silence.